There should be a test

I mean, how else would I have known - before 9:00 in the evening while waiting for my children to finish supper a short hour after their bed time - that I would totally suck at this parenting thing? 9:00?? Who does that? And bacon and eggs, no less. I mean, it's not like I've been waiting for some fete de cuisine to emerge from my oven...

What does it mean that the children in question are asking if they can have a snack before bed... WHILE THEY'RE CHEWING THEIR FOOD!!!!

So, here's a question: If I actually give them tea, can I call this disaster of parental feeding "High Tea", even if I don't serve it in our fictional nursery? How did I get to this place of cavalier feeding and desperately trying to affect English-isms to throw people off the scent? Did I temporarily lose my ability to tell time? Was I DOing something?

In times like these, I have the nagging (screaming) feeling that I need a very rigid schedule. You know, so we don't eat supper in the middle of the night, for instance, and everybody has clean underwear. But then I wander off in the middle of making the schedule...

I'm sure there should be a test.